The Secrets of Intimacy



The major challenge with how men and women relate is in the realization that intimacy and sex are not the same thing. Sex is the physical expression of the desire, lust and love we feel for another. It lasts, on average, seven minutes. The question is what we are doing the rest of the time to truly connect on a deeper level. Intimacy, on the other hand, is the foundation of relationship, including affection, bonding, care, nurturing, passion, respect and sex, among others.

The breakdown lies in how we express intimacy. Men are more physical; operating on facts, individual accomplishments and the desire to compete. Women, operating on emotions, are community accomplishment-motivated and need to bond. For a women, intimacy is an emotional connection. They feel intimacy when they feel closeness with their partner.

Men express intimacy as time alone with their lover; ability to communicate and understand both physical needs; holding hands/hugging/kissing/foreplay; and deep physical connection. Women express intimacy as daily sharing of conversation and affection; a sensitivity to emotional pain and ability to show emotions; understanding each other’s dreams and goals; and deep emotional/heart/soul connection.

Love is not challenging. It’s the relating that requires understanding and collaboration, and when we learn to navigate within the ABCs of Intimacy, we can weave a loving, lasting and passionate relationship with those we love.

Doctor of Human Sexuality Kat Smith is an Intimalogist (intimacy expert), author and speaker in Dallas. For more information, visit DrKatSmith.com.

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags

More from Natural Awakenings

Two Festivals in One

This year the Festival, organized by The Dallas Institute of Humanities and Culture in partnership with the Dallas Morning News and produced by CrowdSource and Public City, will join forces with the Dallas Book Festival.

Discover the Astounding at Earth Day Texas 2017

Earth Day Texas, held from April 21 through 23, at Fair Park, in Dallas, is best enjoyed with the kids, learning how to be more eco-friendly.

Tennant Institute for Integrative Medicine Attracts Patients Worldwide

Esteemed Ophthalmologist Jerry Tennant, M.D., has many accomplishments to his credit, including founder and director of the Dallas Eye Institute, as well as being awarded the Order of Saint Sylvester by Pope Benedict XVI in 2008 for his contributions to medicine.

Oak Cliff’s Bishop Arts—the Brooklyn of Texas

Oak Cliff has been called the Brooklyn of Texas, the cradle of Lone Star blues, and the hipness capital of Dallas.

Adding Flexibility to Medical Solutions

For more than 37 years, Abrams Royal Compounding Pharmacy has offered personalized medications and targeted treatment plans in a convenient and friendly environment.