Five Keys to Ignite Intimacy
Intimacy experts say it is important to re-educate couples that intimacy is the foundation of relationships and its more than sex; that in fact, sex is a component of intimacy as is trust, care, affection nurturing and more. Sex lasts on average, about seven minutes. If we are feeling a lack of affection or connection, here are five keys to ignite or develop more intimacy in our relationship.
The usual culprit for a lack of intimacy in a relationship is our hectic lives. We are pulled in many different directions making us mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Thus, our relationships are the first to show the effects of neglect. Nourish your intimate relationship and your lover by dedicating time, energy and being truly present when together. Dedicate a date night and let nothing come between you and our time together.
Stay in Touch
Our sense of touch is one of the most beautiful of our human gifts. The power of touch is healing, comforting and arousing, but in it also lies the power of affection. Remember to caress and touch each other often throughout the day to eliminate the resentment or accusation of only showing affection when you want sex.
If You Love Them Tell Them So—If You Tell Them Love Them So
Understand that we all express love in the way we want to receive it. Some of us are visual and need to see displays of love. Others need to feel love with physical contact. The intellectual needs mental stimulation, and those that need to hear you utter the words, “I love you.” Learn how your lover receives love and consciously work it into your daily interactions. Give it to them the way they like it, not just through sex.
Invest and Be Present
Invest in your intimate relationship on a regular basis and be with your partner when you are alone together. Make regular deposits of affection, care and support to insure that your relationship is receiving the attention it requires to thrive. Just like we invest in our careers, we need to invest in our relationships or we can get fired. Put away your devices and give attention to the person you love.
Romance Your Space
Invite romance back into your bedroom. Remove the clutter and enhance the environment so that you both can relax and enjoy being in an intimate space together. It is your love sanctuary, so infuse it with comfy linen, colors that soothe, fragrances and lighting that set the mood. Remove or hide anything that reminds you of your job, housework or studying.
With a few simple steps, you can revive, rejuvenate and reinvent a loving and solid intimate relationship. Show your lover you want and need them and make them feel desired, appreciated and loved as you set fire to your passion once again.Kat Smith, DHS, ACS, is a speaker and provides private consultations to couples and individuals. For more information, visit DrKatSmith.com.